B-day!!!

I had a great b-day this year. We all went out to this "Irish" pub place (none of us really have ever seen the Irish in it) that was offering me free stuff. Which is why it was chosen. Not usually my favorite, but we did have a good time anyway. It's been a very long time since I have stayed out until 2am and then get fast food after! Man that hamburger was so good! I would post some pics, but my stupid camera battery was dead...so I didn't take any. :(

I also got some great presents which included a panini grill, a Tech platter (super cute!), money and earrings (thanks, mom!), lots of flowers, a faux butcher block (I'm a nerd...I really wanted that! LOL!) and a sort of relaxing day. The morning wasn't so relaxing, but the afternoon was. That morning, I had a doctor appointment at 8am where they took all my blood. Ok, not all, but more than I usually like to give up! Then I got home and cleaned like a mad woman because I thought my mom was coming over...then went to the dentist at 10 to get a filling replaced. My mom delivered flowers to the dentist office...which was cute...and it also meant she wasn't coming over. But, hey! At least my downstairs is clean! Then I got to laze around the house the rest of the afternoon watching a movie and then get a massage. Man, I really needed one, too! I had a lot of knots still in my neck from my stressful week last week. I think I will start getting one at least once a month. Well, that's the plan, anyway.

That was pretty much my weekend and Monday (I make it a policy to never work on my b-day...but apparently I will go to the doctor). Oh yeah, also went to The Keg Steakhouse last night...super yummy as always! This was the first time we ordered the calamari for an appetizer and I highly suggest it to anyone else who might go there! Also, the warm goat cheese is a great appetizer as well. Jonathan and I go there often. :)

This week will be great because I also have this Friday off...so woo hoo! 3 day work week for me!

Other things that make me happy...

...is this picture of my cat. :)

...and this picture of both my babies. :)

Forgiveness

It’s a tricky thing, isn’t it? It’s even trickier when you are trying to forgive yourself. My mom, aunt and I are all in tough situations. They have one (that does affect me in a large way as well) and I have one (that does affect them because they love me). The three of us are such peas in a pod, it’s freaking ridiculous! My mom’s sister is 14 months younger than her so they pretty much grew up as twins…and as much as I hate to admit it, I am very similar to my mom. But, daughters should be somewhat similar to their moms, so I guess I will just accept it! :)

Anyway, back on track. The three of us have been presented with stresses that we have never encountered before. Almost at a level we have never encountered before. (OK, my mom has definitely had this level of stress (or more) before...but I haven't!) And, because of how we are as people, we have been constantly worrying, wringing our hands, pulling out our hair and adding wrinkles to our faces because of it. Here’s the kicker: there’s nothing we can do to change either of the situations! Both situations were 100% caused by someone else. These other people are messing up, they keep messing up, have always messed up and will probably mess up for the rest of their lives! No matter what we say or do or how much we love these people, it won’t matter. They will keep going on like nothing is wrong and the rest of the world is one big, fat, stupid idiot.

It’s ironic…yes. The ones that mess up in life are often the first ones to point out how everyone else in the world is wrong. Not them. They are right…everyone else is just too dumb to see it.

So, it’s not about my mom and aunt and I forgiving someone else. There is nothing to forgive. They don’t think they’ve messed up, they haven’t apologized, they won’t apologize and they sure as heck won’t ask for forgiveness. Because they are perfect and there’s nothing to forgive. Nope, the forgiveness I am talking about today is the kind that you give to yourself. We have been stressing out over situations almost completely out of our control…then beating ourselves up for stressing! It’s quite a conundrum. So, I emailed my mom and aunt this morning and told them that we are going to forgive ourselves for stressing about that which we cannot change. Then we are going to move on and live our lives happily. We will also let go of any resentment because that will get us nowhere fast as well. We aren’t judgmental people (well, not more than anyone else), but we are going to start aligning ourselves and befriending others that have more of the same kind of character that we have and/or would like to have. It’s healthier to live that way, am I right?

Eh, not so great

Dinner wasn't a total disaster for me last night. Notice that disaster is still in that line. Anyway, so I lied...about 20 minutes before my workout, I got super hungry. Of course, after running 1/2 a mile, that went away. But, I decided that I didn't want to cook last night and I was super sleepy...so Wendy's sounded a bit tastey. I got my usual #6 with no mayo. When I got home, I cut the sandwich in half with full intentions of eating slowly and only half! I ate slowly...but half wasn't cutting it. So, I ate the second half without the bread and dumped my fries on what was left of Jonathan's fries. I did eat slowly, and I did eventually fill up...but man was that hard! All in all, I was never stuffed so full I could barely move yesterday...which is a vast improvement. And I am pretty sure I ate significantly fewer calories than normal. And I feel fine. WEIRD! :) Also this week, I decided to start dabbling in the Zone diet. I spent forever on Sunday planning out my meals for the week. Which was a beating. But, I am noticing that the "2 block" meals are way too much for me in one sitting with the Paul McKenna technique. And, 2 block meals are pretty much as small as you can get on this diet. Hopefully, with the combo of both I will finally be able to lose a few pounds for the first time in a while without starving myself! What a concept!

On a completely different note, I just realized that I forgot to put in my Frizz Ease this morning and with the humidity at a million today, my hair is a 'fro! And I was going to look so cute today in my new skirt. Oh well.

I can make you THIN!!

So, I watched "I Can Make You Thin" with Paul McKenna on TLC last night. It was a major DUH! moment for me. He didn't tell me anything new. In fact, what he did tell me was how to go about losing weight...exactly the same way I did 3 years ago! Why did I stop? Everyone said I looked pretty good. I still got to eat what I want. Just instead of a big bowl of ice cream well past when I was full, I would have one or two spoonfuls. I have slowly slipped back into the bad habit of not wanting to waste anything so I will just eat it all...whether or not I am hungry. And, I will over eat the bad stuff because it just tastes good, dang it! That's what has made me put on 20 pounds these past couple of years more than anything. So, I implemented his words (with a cute reminder from Jonathan around lunch time)...and it worked. Yes, I did eat more frequently during the day, but I can honestly say that I have eaten a lot less overall today. And, I am usually kind of hungry by the time I leave work to go hit the gym...and today I am not. Which is good...class doesn't start until 7. Tonight will be the big test, though. On Mondays and Wednesdays I get home fairly late and am pretty dang ravenous by the time I get there. I have a bad habit of just shoving food in my mouth as fast as possible. This is where my self-control and will power will come into play. I will force myself to eat slowly and methodically and stop the minute I get full...not stuffed! Wish me luck! Off to the gym now...

The Beast!

So, the images wouldn't load in the other post. Let's see if they work here.

Woo hoo! It's The Beast!

Paradox

Today is my mom's b-day so first and foremost, a big shout out goes to my mom!!! In exactly 10 days is my b-day (the countdown begins) AND this is the year that I will be half her age exactly. Yes, I will the same age that my mom had me at. Which kind of gives away her age...sorry, Mom. :)

But, it brings up a good point. In fact, I have a couple of good points tonight after 3 rather strong margaritas. So, it's weird to think that on my mom's 27th b-day, she was 10 days away from giving birth to a wonderful daughter. :) In 10 days, I will be 27. I can in no way possibly imagine having a kid right now. True, if Jonathan and I were married, it would be feasible. We could afford it and there would really be no reason not to have one or anything, but I seriously think I am way too selfish to have a child right now. Don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me knows that I do want to be a mommy one day and am looking forward to that day. BUT! Right now, I like my alone time, I like being able to go out and meet up with friends for a nice, leisurely 3 hour lunch then meet up with other friends a few hours later for happy hour (this is how my day off was spent today). Granted, one of the girls I met up for lunch with has 3 kids, all are aged 3 and under, and she was able to bring them. But, they are great kids and we want her to bring them (we actually beg...no lie), but she was older than me when she started (don't worry, won't give away her age) and I know that when I get to be her age, I will have a kid or two and will love it!!! Just as she does. But, she didn't start when she was 27 and is so thankful she waited. I have some friends that had little "oopsies" early in life, and it really takes a strong person to do that. You have to be willing to give up a lot of selfishness to be able to have a child. My girlfriends and I tonight were discussing how we are just not there yet. We are all going to be 27 within the next couple of months, and we are all in that same boat. Really, if we had a kid at this age, it wouldn't be all that weird to the general public. But to us, it does feel weird right now. In some ways, I guess we just don't feel that we are old enough to be in that spot yet. But all of us do want kids one day. It's just weird growing up, you know? Becoming an adult is such a paradox...you spend 18-22 years wanting and dying to become a "grown up" with your own money and not having to answer to your parents if you don't want to, but then when you actually get there...you don't feel that you yet have the maturity to do so.

Which brings me to my next point. Maturity. I know that I am a very mature and responsible adult. I bought a house at the age of 24 due to good financial planning (a lot on my parents part...but trust me, I did take note!), I have a very nice new car, I have absolutely zero debt and do not live beyond my means...I'm not trying to brag by any means, but my point is, I still feel like I am a child! I have no idea why. My mom found a picture of me from 2 years ago. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a bad picture at all. Yes, I was drinking in it. Yes, I had a cigarette in my mouth in it (BTW, I do NOT smoke! Just to clear that up...but when I drink, yes, I do enjoy one every once in a while. Not so much anymore, but 2 years ago, I still did.). Really, it's not that bad and she and I both know that. But, I spent the entire day feeling like I was going to be grounded when I got home! I am freaking 26!!! Almost 30!!! (GAG!) But, I feel like a child at times still. It's not my mom's fault at all...she treats me like an adult and did not lecture me about it at all. She actually made a joke of it. But this is that paradox I am talking about. I felt 16 all over again and actually was scared of what my mom was going to say! It's so funny and weird. Anyway, this is not at all my point on maturity. My point was being that girlfriend A was telling us she got an awesome promotion at work last week and girlfriend L was telling us she has this wonderful opportunity that will help her with her Masters degree! And, I am looking to open my own business one day...soon. I do feel that overall, we are still very young girls (yeah, ok, we are "women"...but at times I feel like a girl still) but are accomplishing grown up things! I know people that are slipping down the slippery slopes and on the wrong paths in life...and they are our same age. My point is, I had this realization tonight that my girlfriends and I are much more mature than I feel like we deserve to be. Am I the only one that has this weird feeling about growing up like this? Or am I completely normal and will hopefully grow out of it? There are times I get home at night and still get this overwhelming feeling that I have homework to do. I started school at age 2 and went for 20 years, so it's probably just such a habit to me and that's why I get that feeling...but it's weird to think that I have been out of school for 5 years now and still feel like I should be studying for something! So, I concluded tonight that these girlfriends are the types I need to keep around...mature, ambitious, gorgeous, outgoing, going somewhere in life, NO DRAMA! And maybe there are others that need to go? I don't know. Just thinking out loud.

Anyway, the art show last night was totally fun and I ended up hanging out with 3 former co-workers that I love like brothers (and Jonathan really likes hanging out with these guys, too). The artist was Joey Seeman and it was his anti-consumerism work. Really good with a touch of humor. Too bad I didn't get the 70s cartoon references...but hey! I was born in '81...it was before my time! We stayed out way too late...well, not that late (12:30am), but way too many drinks late! LOL! I haven't really done that in a long, long time (I'll admit, I was a pretty good little partier not all too long ago... with girlfriends A and L, no less!). It was a blast and I love, love, love the art district on Exposition. Way fun!

I am trying to figure out how to post pics on this...so I leave you with a pic of my Mr. Personality cat watching tv (apparently contemplating a diet) and playing with the candle (our house smelled like burning cat fur for days!). Enjoy!

Like I know how to blog...

So, I figure that since I read blogs all day, why not start one? I'm not particularly interesting and have no idea if anyone will read this besides my friends, but why the hell not, right? I don't really know what I am doing or what I will write about from day to day...but I tend to be really long-winded anyway, so I'm sure I'll think of something. :) Hey, this will at least save my friends from long, rambling emails that I have a tendency to send when I am bored!

OK, so about me...in case anyone who doesn't already know me reads this...I am 26 (soon to be 27 in a week and a half! ahhhh!), native of Dallas (and proud of it!), currently a marketing manager for an engineering firm, have a great boyfriend (going on 2 1/2 years), am starting to become an avid CrossFitter (just started 3 months ago...but loving it!), always on a diet that I never stick to fully, have a puppy that is 5 years old named Belle and a kitty that is 1 year named Beast (get it? yeah, I'm a dork!), have a few really close, great friends, wonderful parents...well, life is just peachy, now isn't it? Actually, right now it kind of is. :) That's boring! Well, there is some drama...but won't get into that now. No need to air out all dirty laundry on the internet, now is there? ;) But, those who need to know the gossip...already do.

Oh, and for those who are wondering...the term "Amie-ism" is an inside family joke. I tend to say random things at random times and make up my own words. An old friend of mine in high school actually put together a little book for me and called it Amie-isms...reading it is pretty funny. I'm a bit weird at times, I'll admit it.

OK, guess that's it for now. Going to an art show tonight. Will write about it...well, later. When I get time. Maybe after happy hour tomorrow...that will be fun!