Shutting it down...

I've neglected this blog, it's true. And now the email account that this is tied to is about to be null and void. And because Blogger is so great, it won't let me use my new email address as the primary email. So, I'm shutting this blog down. Jonathan and I have started a new "family" style blog. Which is kind of boring, I'll admit, because we have to keep it clean for the kids. And maybe for the parents, too. Anyway, if you are interested in our new married life, feel free to visit here from now on.

Toodles!

Where have I been??

So, it's apparently been a month and a half since I've last posted. Where am I, you ask? I'm busy counting days:
- 14 days --> Last presentation ever for my MBA!
- 17 days --> I become an official Junior League of Plano member!
- 20 days --> Day to meet my goal weight...scary!
- 46 days --> The day I get married!

As per usual, I start blogging again the minute I start dieting again. Not like writing has really helped me in the past but I am hoping for a different result all the same. Can anyone remind me what the definition of insane is again?

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I started a new job about 7 weeks ago. I love it here! The team I work with reminds me of my old team from my first job and the work is steady and busy and fun. One thing that's going to help me with this diet is the cafeteria. I know, sounds lame and like crappy, fattening food but they have some good health options. And the price can't be beat. Yesterday, I had a salad for lunch. Those who know me know that I despise salad. But, they have a salad bar where you can customize whatever you want and then they weigh it. My huge salad that I couldn't finish came in at a whopping $3.47. And it was good, too!

Today, I mixed the American side with the Korean side and made my own meal. From the American side, I got steamed broccoli, peas and carrots. From the Korean side, I got a fillet of tilapia with chili sauce. It was all phenomenal and I am beyond stuffed. Hopefully tonight I can stick to my dieting with a decent meal despite having a group meeting to work on our paper right after work. We'll see.

But, I have drive this time. I started looking through old pictures from 4 years ago...when I was super skinny. When I first met Jonathan. When size zero was huge on me. I had willpower back then and I would literally eat until I was just full enough. Today's lunch, while healthy, proved that I am lacking that willpower still. So, I have to make it up with dinner. Which is fine, that should be my lightest and lowest calorie meal anyway. I guess we shall see what the scales say tomorrow!

Anyway, just to embarrass myself, here's the facts. I was 136lbs. yesterday and 134.8lbs. today. If I can keep that up, I'll meet my 20lbs. in 20 days goal. It's a far-fetched goal that many will say is super unhealthy but I have to remind myself that I will be so happy and proud of myself if I can come near that. And why 20 days? Because all the parts of my dress have been made and are waiting on me to do a fitting before they can be sewen together. Then after they are sewen together, I'd like to do one more fitting. Plus, the super short and tight party dress I designed for after the wedding that will NOT hide a single roll? Oh yeah. That. And once I do the fitting in 20 days, I will still have 26 days until the wedding...which will be the time I lose whatever is remaining on my 20 pound goal.

And before you ask...no, I haven't been running lately. I was injured and will be starting again this week. Plus, I'll start my running classes again on August 17th. But, I have to take it slow and basically start from scratch again. Boo!

Big News!

I am starting a new job on June 7th! I'm extremely excited about this new position, although everyone I interviewed with was very honest in letting me know it's a bunch of work. So, since my current job is on a reduced workload schedule, I will probably be easily doubling my hours at work within the first week or two. That part stinks, but it's such a good step (or leap) in my career that it was hard to pass up.

Also? The benefits are by far the best I have ever had! The pay is great, there's a bonus every year that's paid out over 4 quarters (so like a mini-bonus every 3 months!), the insurance is great (and cheap!) and the PTO and vacation time rocks. Plus, I'm going back to the technology field so we get discounts on cool stuff. :) I think Jonathan is most excited about that part.

Of course, my timing is impeccable as always. I start this job the same week I start my final class for my MBA. A class that is going to be very intense. I start this job just 3 months before my wedding. And also, just 3 months before my first year of Junior League ramps up. Great timing, Amie. So, if I didn't already think that 2010 was moving at the speed of lightening before, then I sure as hell do now!

It's been a huge year with a lot of changes, that's for sure. But all are great changes and I'm so excited and nervous at the same time!

Oh yeah, also we had our engagement party this weekend and I wasn't expecting gifts, but OMG I love all the gifts!!! It's going to be so hard not to use them until after September. My pots, pans and knives are fabulous!!

9pm - 9am

Please excuse me for this rant...I am exhausted and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

I grew up in a very strict household with lots of rules. There is only one rule that I can think of right now that I have carried over into my adult life. It's a rule that I feel is exceptional and should be followed by everyone. It's the 9pm to 9am rule.

Basically, as a way to keep me from bugging other people/neighbors/friends' parents/etc. in the wee hours in the morning, my mom started this rule. I was sort of an early riser as a young kid and my best friend and I loved to call each other the minute we woke up. Neither of our parents were exactly early risers. So, my mom always told me that it was extremely rude to call people before 9am. Seeing as how I never wanted to be rude, I stuck to this rule like my life depended on it! When I started staying up later than 9pm, my mom extended the rule to saying that it's extremely rude to call people between 9pm and 9am. I could see her point. And I stuck to this rule.

Of course, in college, I was rarely up and ready to go before 9pm, so I bent the rule for the time being. However, if I knew someone was staying in for the night, I still would not call them between 9pm and 9am. After all, I didn't want to bother them!

But, undergrad is over and has been over for many years now. When I entered this wonderful world of adulthood and responsibilities, I realized that at heart, I was an early to bed, early to rise type of gal. Even Jonathan quickly adapted to this schedule as it's just more convenient for me. And try as I might to sleep in late on my days off, I am often up by 7am. I thrive only after a minimum of 8 hours of sleep, so many times on the weekend I am still in bed by 10pm.

It's lame.

I know.

The fact still remains that my alarm clock starts blaring at 5:15am Monday - Thursday. So, to get in a full 8 hours of sleep on weeknights, what time does that put me in bed? By 9:15pm.

Again, lame.

I know.

But, it is what it is and until I get a job either way closer to home or one that I don't have to arrive until 9 or 10 in the morning, it's just how it's gonna be. I've accepted it. And everyone needs to learn to deal with it.

If you can't tell, I get extremely irritable when people break the 9pm to 9am rule. Everyone knows it. I've repeatedly told people that I go to bed early and it's best to not try to contact me past 9pm. I don't mind as much if it's a Thursday - Saturday night as I do not have to be up before the sun the next morning on those days. However, I personally think that it is just in good taste to follow the 9pm to 9am rule at all times. I was raised in the south by true southern ladies. We always try to things that are in good taste at all times.

The only exception to this rule is in the case of an emergency. Which is why I rarely, if ever, put my phone on silent at night. I always have my phone on and everyone knows that if there were an emergency, they could call me and I'd be there...no problem. Jonathan completely turns his phone off at night, which drives me insane! Of course, he has drunkard friends that like to text him at all hours of the night and his phone goes off with every.single.email he receives...spam and otherwise. In general, his phone always drives me nuts. And since we are cancelling our home phone today (FINALLY...the contract is up!), someone has to keep their phone on for family emergencies.

So, please. I'm begging everyone out there. Let's act like adults and keep the sacred hours of 9pm to 9am contact-free. I treasure my sleep. I am not a morning person (despite waking up early every day). I get very irritable, even if I am up, if someone tries to talk to me before caffeine has had time to circulate through my body.

It's best for us all to observe the 9pm to 9am rule.

Really. It is.

Gramma

My Gramma passed away this past Friday, April 9th. I feel that I was very close to her. She was really the only grandmother that I knew well enough to show up at her door any time I wanted. She loved me probably more than I will ever know and I loved her more than she probably ever knew.

The past few years have been very difficult. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2006 and unfortunately for us, she was pretty far into the disease when we finally got a diagnosis. But, as morbid as this may sound, fortunately for her, it went quickly. I think she was lucky enough to not go on for years and years without her memories. It was really only this past year when she lost it all. I have known people who have had Alzheimer's relatives that have been living for years, if not decades, with no memories left. I wouldn't be able to handle that if I were put in that situation. So, that's why I say fortunately for my Gramma, she progressed at a fast pace.


In rememberance of my Gramma, I'm going to list my top 10 memories of her from my childhood. They are in no particular order, just what stands out to me in my mind:


1.) Her tight, tight hugs. She knew how to give a bone-crushing hug! They were always so comforting.


2.) Lots of big pink kisses all over my face.


3.) Her rings. She always wore big, chunky rings and they were so her style.


4.) The way she would spoil me. Rotten!


5.) Her perfume. To this day, I have no idea what it was, but if I smell it, I know it.


6.) Shopping. She taught me how shopping can always make you feel better when you are down. When I missed my mom, she would take me to the mall to "mess around" for a little bit and it always seemed to work. To this day, I will spend hours at a mall when I am feeling stressed/sad/upset/etc.


7.) The way she would play Parcheesi or Dominoes with me for hours on end. She never showed any boredom playing with me. Or at least I never noticed.


8.) Being perfect in her eyes. She kept everything I ever gave her (cards, crafts, little toys) no matter what it was and always thought everything I did was wonderful. I guess that's part of being spoiled. :)


9.) Spending the night. I spent many nights at my grandparents' house and loved it. I would ransack their house looking for old treasures and pictures. Nothing was off-limits and she would tell me all the stories behind every little thing I found.


10.) Tea parties! What else needs to be said when a tea party is involved?

Eleanor Rose Huddleston McGowan: November 25, 1924 - April 9, 2010

Just Under 5 Months!!

Well, I haven't talked much about the wedding on here, have I? I think it's because in my quest to be the most-laid-back-bride-ever, I've just completely forgotten about the wedding until someone asks me or I want to update my registeries (it's basically shopping!!). I mean "our" registeries! Eh, who are we kidding? Jonathan is about as uninterested in registering as I am in Xbox. Which is why we work so well together...I "shop" and register online while he plays video games. See? We totally have this marriage thing all worked out!

So, today I went to TheKnot.com to get some ideas for hostess gifts. My mom called yesterday asking what I wanted to do for that and I hadn't really thought much about it. I was also feeling really crappy yesterday with a little gremlin stuck inside of me trying to claw its way back out...so, I also didn't care either. But, today I'm feeling better and I need ideas! Oh yeah...so I was on The Knot and I saw they had a wedding ticker maker thing and I thought I should do that. And update the old blog while I'm at it. When I posted it, it said "4 months, 4 weeks and 2 days."

Well...crap.

Less than 5 months to go and now I need to get in shape (i.e., tone my arms and back and lose 15 pounds), find hostess gifts, start making invites, get everyone confirmed for Vegas (...you hear that guys? Book your trips! I'm stressed!), start finalizing some of the details, get organized, get in shape (there's lots to do in this department and I'm lazy)...etc. I did do something productive for the wedding yesterday. I bought shoes! They aren't anything fancy, but I love them. Plus, Zappos is awesome and they are being delivered today! 36 hour turnaround...not too shabby.

I just thought of about 1,000 other things I need to get done and I have 152 DAYS left!! Plus, work and school and ... well, that's all really. I feel like I have more to do but I guess I don't.

OK, I'm off to make a list now!

By the way, click here for our wedding site if you are interested. Which, I've been meaning to update...

Budget-friendly Recipes!

Since this whole financial diet started last week, I've made a couple of great meals that were super cheap for us. Surprisingly, since we started saving money, we have been eating healthier and tastier meals. Actually, that's not surprising because we have not been eating out like we used to just because it was "easy." Now, I'm cooking at home again and I was raised knowing how to cook cheap and healthy! And I must say, I should have never stopped cooking in the first place.


Since I make a lot of pizza and pasta at home, these recipes are just that. I made pizza one night and had enough left-overs of the sauce and cheese to make baked ziti the next night. So, here's the pizza.



First, we have the wine-infused carmelized onions:
1 bottle of cheap-ass cabernet (there's one for $2.50 at Wal-mart)
2 large yellow onions (or if white onions are on sale, get those!)
Enough olive oil to coat the bottom of a skillet
Salt to taste
Timer

Slice onions to desired thickness. I wouldn't make them too thin or else they will just not be right. I like about 1/4" thick. Turn pan with olive oil on medium-high and wait for the oil to heat up. When the oil is shimmering, throw in all the sliced onions. It will look like a lot, but when it's done, it won't be that much. Toss the onions until all are coated with oil. Set the timer for 10 minutes. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Drink. After the timer goes off, lighty salt the onions and stir around. Turn heat down to medium. Set the timer for 10 minutes. Continue drinking wine. When the timer goes off, stir the onions. They should be turning brown by now. This is good. Set the timer for 10 minutes. Drink wine, but slow down! You will need some for cooking. When the timer goes off, stir the onions some more. Set the timer one last time for 10 minutes but drink your wine closer to the stove. You might need to stir the onions a couple of times during this 10 minutes. If the onions are a nice, dark brown color, success! If not, keep cooking until they are. Take the bottle of wine and pour about half a glass worth or so into the pan to deglaze it. Stir the onions until all the wine is cooked down. Using a slotted spoon or tongs, move the onions to a bowl and set aside.

Second, we have to make the meat:
1 package of skirt steak, tenderized if available
1-2 cups garlic marinade (we bought a bunch of marinade on sale a couple of months ago)
1 link of hot Italian sausage (freeze the other links for meatballs or other uses later)

Marinate the skirt steak for a minimum of 3 or 4 hours, preferably overnight. OK, I guess that should have been the first step, technically, but oh well. Hopefully you read all of this first before starting. Put steak and leftover marinade in glass baking dish and broil for 5 minutes on each side. Let rest on top of the oven while you prep the sausage. In the skillet you used to make the onions, still on medium heat, squeeze the sausage out of the skin. Break up into small pieces and cook until brown. Using a slotted spoon, fish out the sausage and leave the oil in the pan. Put sausage in a bowl and set aside.

Next, the homemade tomato sauce:
1 can whole tomatoes (whatever is on sale)
1 can diced tomatoes (luckily, fire-roasted was on sale...my fave!)
1 small can tomato paste (cheapest)
2T Italian seasoning
1/4t. cinnamon
2-3 cloves garlic
1 glass worth of the cheap wine
Salt and pepper to taste

Turn down the sausage fat still in your same skillet to medium-low. Chop garlic and throw into pan...be careful to not let it burn! Open the can of whole tomatoes and dump entire contents into the skillet. Using a butter knife, cut up tomatoes to desired chunkiness. Let these cook for a couple of minutes and then add the can of diced tomatoes, juice and all. Simmer for a few more minutes and then add about 1 glass worth (less if you want) of the wine and the can of tomato paste. Add the Italian seasoning and stir until the tomato paste disappears in the pan. Let everything simmer for a few more minutes. Add in the salt, pepper and cinnamon and stir one last time. Turn to low.



Turn oven onto 425 degrees. Slice steak into 3/4" slices (like you do with brisket) and then cut slices in half.



Now, for the pizza:
1 can Pillsbury pizza dough (my fave!)
Above ingredients
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella (I found the 16oz. bag on sale!)
1 handful of crumbled goronzola
1 handful of shreded romano

Spray cookie sheet with some cooking oil. Spread out dough onto cookie sheet and bake in a 425 oven for about 5 minutes. The bigger the cookie sheet, the thinner you can make the crust...and I like a thin crust. Pull dough out of oven and cover with homemade sauce. I like a lot of sauce but it only took me about 1/3 or so of the homemade sauce to cover to my liking. Then put down a thin layer of mozzarella. Again, I'm not a big cheese person, so I don't like a lot. If you do like cheese on your pizza (I'm a freak, I know), add more. Using probably just under half of the steak, spread out over mozzarella. Using about half of the sausage, spread out over mozzarella. Again, I'm not a big fan of a ton of meaty toppings, so I probably use less than the average person would. You will probably only use about 1/4 of the carmelized onions (and you'll probably snack on 1/4 of them!) and spread those out over the top of the pizza. Then top with gorgonzola and romano cheeses. Bake at 425 for about 10 minutes or until the cheese is golden and bubbly. Pull out of oven and sprinkle some Italian seasoning and a drizzle of olive oil.

This is what mine looked like before the extra Italian seasoning and olive oil was added:

I personally thought it was awesome but of course, there wasn't enough cheese or meat to satisfy Jonathan so he just thought it was OK. Since I had all of the seasonings and oil, counting only the portion of the meat and cheeses I used, this whole pizza cost about $7 or so. And we have left-overs. Normally, the two of us can polish off a large take out pizza that cost us $20, so HUGE savings!

When you are cleaning up, throw all the meat into the sauce and add as much of the carmelized onions as you want (I think I added half of what was left over). Store in fridge until you are ready for the ziti or just a spaghetti night.

OK, the second recipe is so much shorter than the first! I was just playing around and had a craving when I made the pizza...and had nothing else better to do...so that's why that recipe is so long.

Onto the ziti!
1 1/2 cups (or so) of ziti noodles
Couple handfuls of bow-tie pasta (I added this at the last minute because I didn't think we'd have enough ziti...this made for an extremely noodle-y dish!)
1/2 big bag of baby spinach
Leftover sauce with meat and onions added in
Leftover cheeses (you still won't use all of it!)
Salt and pepper to taste

Put leftover sauce in a sauce pan and cook on medium-low. Bring half a pot of water to a boil. Lightly salt the water (I hate adding salt to stuff, so you'll notice that I say to "lightly" salt everything). Pour the noodles into the boiling water and boil until al dente. When draining the noodles, drain over a bowl to save that pasta water! Pour noodles into a casserole dish. Oh yeah! Preheat the oven to 375. Throw about half a bag of baby spinach into the sauce. I like a lot of spinach and I also take the time to rip off the bigger stems. Yes, the pot will be filled to the top with spinach and that's ok! Using about 1/3 a cup at a time, add in some pasta water. Every time you add in some water, stir everything around. The leftover sauce will be really thick (because I like hearty sauce for my pizza) so you want to thin it out. I think I ended up using about 1 1/2 cups of the pasta water when all was said and done. You don't want it runny, but you do want the sauce thinner than before. Also, you are just cooking it until the spinach is wilted. Nothing is worse than over-cooked spinach if you ask me! When the consistency is where you like it, add that on top of the noodle mixture. Throw in a couple of handfuls of mozzarella and mix well. Top ziti with a couple more handfuls of mozzarella, half of the leftover gorgonzola and romano. Bake for about 20-30 minutes or until the cheese on top is melted very well and the sauce is bubbling up. Pull out of the oven and sprinkle with Italian seasoning, pepper and a drizzle of olive oil.

I didn't get a pic of the ziti but Jonathan liked it much better. Probably because it had a ton of cheese in it! Or at least a ton of cheese in my opinion.

See? Living on a budget isn't that hard.

Going on a diet...

...and not the one I talk about all the time on here! I'm going on a financial diet. I'm being forced to now even though I should have done it several months ago. In a nutshell, my salary was just reduced by 20%. That's a lot. They phrased it by saying, "Everyone's hours are going to be reduced to 32 per week." But, I'm still at work 4 days a week. They won't let me just add an extra hour to my day on Mondays and Wednesdays and give me another day off. Because, that would help me out a TON. It would mean I could save at least 50 miles/week on my car. It would mean I could work a second job 4 days/week to help make up the difference. It would mean another day I'm just not here at this place.

So, I have to cut out a lot of stuff. I should have already done this. I didn't need to go out for two girls' nights this past weekend. Luckily, one was free since I had gift cards, but the other one wasn't. I didn't need to buy two bottles of $10 wine last week. Hell, I didn't need to buy new clothes for my upcoming adventure to Egypt! But I did all that. And I have to pay my credit cards off every month. I will freak out if I don't. So, there goes my tax refund. Luckily, it's a large one this year, but $1,000 of it is already out the door to pay for my last class (at least I'll have an MBA, right?). My savings is still non-existent because of all the huge expenses from last year. More than likely, I'll have to stop contributing to my 401(k). That's at least 5% of my salary I can get back. So, I guess that means I only have to try to make up 15% of my salary through a second job? That's less daunting than 20%. But, sacrificing my future for today. Now I get why people today can't afford to retire.

I don't really have anywhere to go with this. Just extremely upset right now. I also feel like a bad person because I would have rather them have lay-offs instead. My job would not have been eliminated. I'm the only person in my department and I can do the office admin's job, so there's one person they could have cut. I'm sure cutting just one of the 6-figure/year jobs would have helped as well. They have plenty to choose from there! Those people would have no problems finding a new job. But, it is what it is and I have to keep going.

This sucks.

Stress

I'm not sure why I do it, but I put myself through unusually high amounts of stress when it comes to deadlines. As much as I am a procrastinator, I do not like to push a work deadline to the last minute. If we have to have a proposal in by Wednesday at 12pm, I will be FREAKED until we get it there.

However, the nature of the business I am in, everyone waits until the week of to get it done. No matter how much I bug them to get it done early. Drives me insane. I'm in a bad mood, I do not want anyone to speak to me, I will send emails to my friends and mom bitching about everything...just not good. I stress myself out completely. I even get so stressed out that I stop caring.

Like this week's deadline. I got the point yesterday where I was telling myself and anyone not employed at my company that I just didn't care if we turned in a crappy proposal or not. Or if we even turned in a proposal at all. Why do I have to come up with charts and graphs at the last minute when nobody would tell me what they wanted in the first place? I work with procrastinators...people I should understand the most...and it drives me insane.

I was so worked up yesterday that I almost chased our mailman out the door to tell him to stop being such a douche! It wasn't our usual mailman, it was the annoying one that comes in on the other guy's day off. I severely DISLIKE* this mailman. He's nosey and loves to look at my computer screen when he drops off the mail and tell me I'm not really working. How in the hell does this guy know what my job is? Every time he comes in, he stands there and goes through the outgoing mail for a couple of minutes. Not sure why he does this. And he whistles. Loudly and constantly when he isn't speaking. I severely DISLIKE* whistling! So much so, my old dog would bark and growl when she heard it. I like to instill those kinds of habits in my animals.

Anyway, yesterday, I was sitting in my office, with my door closed, eating my lunch. I was already frustrated with the whole let's-push-the-deadline-until-the-last-minute stress and someone had just busted into my office without knocking, interrupting my one hour to myself during the day. I severely DISLIKE* being interrupted when I am eating. It's even worse when people want to carry on a conversation with you like you aren't doing anything.


Apparently the person that was supposed to be giving me my lunch break was busy chatting in the breakroom for half an hour. So, nobody was at the front. The annoying mailman walks in, whistling, and starts yelling at the top of his lungs that he is here. And not just, "Mailman!" like the other guy does 0nce just in case. This guy was like, "HELLO HELLO HELLOOOOOOOO! I'M HERE!!! HELLO! IT'S THE MAIL...MAIL GUY!! HELLOOOOOOO! ANYBODY HERE???" Seriously? Is that called for? This is an office...a professional office...you do NOT yell at the top of your lungs to let us know you are here! When nobody walked up, he proceeded to slam down the mail he had for us on the front desk. And then whistled his way out the door. I already severely DISLIKE* this guy...I was thisclose to running out after him and telling him off once and for all.

So, all that to say, we submitted our proposal this morning. And I'm in a great mood now. No more stress. No more tight shoulders. I might even be able to tolerate the aggravating mailman if he were to come in today. I have got to stop doing this to myself!

*I was not allowed to say that I hated anyone or anything when I was growing up. Thus, severely DISLIKE came into my vocabulary.

Politics

This is the most political post I will probably ever write. I learned long ago to NOT discuss politics and religion with anyone! I do not like confrontation, I do not like to defend my views (after all, they are MY views) and I really do not like it when someone badgers me constantly to try and change my views. And trust me, out of the handful of people that know where I stand, there are still 2 or 3 of them that try to change me all the time. It's annoying. Therefore, politics and religion are off the table for me.

In October of 2008, I made a seemingly innocent joke to a friend of mine. I was under the impression by the bumper sticker on her car that she was definitely on one end of the spectrum, politically speaking. Apparently, she had changed her mind without telling us. When I joked saying I was going to vote in the direction of her bumper sticker in the upcoming election, she went off the deep end. I mean, this girl already talks very loudly...everyone in the restaurant (and it was a loud restaurant) were turning their heads in our direction while she screamed and ranted and raved. She basically called me an idiot in no uncertain terms.

Thank goodness our other friends came in shortly after and saved me from further humiliation.

That day reiterated the point to myself that I should never discuss these two topics. Because, even when you are positive about what someone thinks, they up and change their position on you. I can honestly say that since a very young age (think 12 or 13), both my political and my theological stance has not changed. Yes, I still do my research and yes, I do still learn. But I am solid in what I believe and that probably won't change.

Anyway, none of the above is even my point today. This article is. Think (and say) what you will about the Obama's. But one thing you can't deny is that they are raising those girls very well. Malia and Sasha are both beautiful, grounded girls who are extremely graceful and well-behaved. More than likely, we will not be seeing these girls in tabloids in the near future.

So, what do we think about the fact that Michelle Obama told the world that the girls' pediatrician told her they were starting to gain a little weight? Do people seriously think that she did something wrong? Do people really believe these girls are going to develop eating disorders because their mom put them on a "diet"?

I was put on a diet in the fourth grade. I needed it. I was getting chubby. My mom was always an avid healthy food cook and worked out like a maniac back in those days. Seriously. My mom was ripped! My mom never forced me to go on a diet, but when I came to her and said that I was getting chubby and I wanted her to show me how to lose a couple of pounds, she helped me. She and I sat down and decided on what a good goal weight would be and what my body should look like. She taught me how to count calories and read and understand nutrition facts on boxes. She showed me how to work out.

And I lost weight.* Also? I didn't develop an eating disorder from it. So, was my mom in the wrong for encouraging me to lose weight? I don't think so. I think she created a very self-aware child that knows what to do and how to do it. Now, whether or not I actually do it is another story. I've had my ups and downs and I yo-yo around, but I've never once in my almost 29 years have ever been considered overweight. Nor have I ever been considered underweight. I'm happy with who I am and yes, I would like to shed a few pounds for the wedding because I've been inching back up on that scale. But in the grand scheme of things, I'm happy with the way I look and if I stay like this for the rest of my life, no harm has been done, really. Even if I do bitch about it on my blog from time to time. :)

So, is Michelle Obama really doing a disservice to her children because she is encouraging healthy eating habits and being transparent with their family? I say no, she isn't. She's being honest and she used the story of her daughters to connect with people. The fact that she said, "I had no idea!" shows that oftentimes, parents overlook the little things that when put together, can lead to a much bigger issue. Just look at the show Desperate Housewives. Gabby and Carlos have 2 severely overweight young children in the show and they think they are fine. Just something to think about, even if it is a TV show. I think it's very indicitive of today's standards and the way more and more parents do not encourage healthy eating habits.

My PawPaw always told me when I was little, "It's very interesting to look in people's grocery carts. Fat people always have fat people food in their cart and skinny people always have skinny people food in their cart." Next time you are at the grocery store, start looking at people's carts. You'd be surprised how logical PawPaw's statement was.

*I feel the need the clarify (because who knows if I'm going to get a tacky comment that my mom treated me horribly) that I grew very fast up until the 5th grade. I am now at the same exact height as I was in the 5th grade and not because I went on a diet the year before. I'm taller than my mom and my biological father was short, too. I had no chance! Also, in 4th grade I was definitely in the full swing of puberty. My mom knew this and my goal weight loss wasn't 20 or 30 pounds...it was more like 7 or 8 pounds. Things were kept into perspective as to my height, my developmental stage and pediatrician recommendations.

My Least Favorite Time of the Year?

You're looking at it. I hate winter. I hate cold. The holidays are ok, but I think there's a bunch of added stress with all the, "We should this. We have to do that. EAT EAT EAT!!!" And more than anything? I hate the dark.



I work 7am to 6pm which means I'm gone from my house from 6:30am until 6:30pm. I drive in the dark both ways. I don't have windows in my office. I usually eat in my office in an attempt to be healthy during fat season.

I get depressed. Really depressed. I very much suffer from a case of the SADs and it's just ridiculous. I personally do not think it's bad enough for me to medicate the problem. I know that first day when I see sun still shining as I'm leaving work, I'm in a better place. That day was yesterday and today? Super productive! Super positive! Super good mood! It's like clockwork.

Like I said. Ridiculous. I wish it didn't happen and the thing is, it never starts until about mid-December. Right as the holidays are ramping up. I usually kick the mood about February. March is always a month of over-excitement which I wasn't aware was also a "thing." It's called Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Wait, does this mean that I am seasonally bi-polar? Surely not!

Thank You Mayo Clinic!

Ever since I was a kid, I had this term I used: Skinny Fat. It's when a person looks thin or looks to be at their appropriate weight, but they have no muscle to them whatsoever. They are soft. Really soft. And you wonder if thier insides are just a bunch of pudding.

Well, the Mayo Clinic has coined a new term: Normal Weight Obesity. Basically, they stole my idea. I should be rich because of this.

Blog Prompt - Apparently All About Boobs!

I know it's hard to believe, but there are a lot of times I am at a loss for words. I mean, yes, I talk a LOT and can pretty much talk to a brick wall if I needed to. But there are times (lots of times) that I don't know what to write about. And then things like ranting to Yahoo come up and spewing out. Of course, that was so freaking frustrating. And of course I had to get it out. But seriously? That's my biggest problem right now? Laughable.

So this is where I find MindBump and Creativity Portal to give me ideas. The first idea was to list 10 titles of my autobiography. Hmmm...that's interesting. And hard! A lot of people don't get my humor (or maybe I'm only funny in my own head...hey!...book title!), so not sure how this will blow over...but here goes:

1.) Funny In My Own Head
2.) The Jack-Of-All-Trades, Truly An Expert At None
3.) Amie-isms: A Life Of Inane Thoughts
4.) When Boobs Don't Stop Growing: The Tragic Tale That Nobody Understands
5.) Talking to Yourself: It's Best If Done Alone
6.) How to Get Through School Without Studying
7.) The Life Of A Procrastinator
8.) Do As I Say! Now!
9.) Hot Feet
10.) Floating With The Clouds

The next one was to describe my most embarrassing moment. Hell if I know!! I am easily embarrassed and constantly do it to myself. Most of the time, it's from me trying to make someone laugh and then the unexpected person walks in. For instance, there was this one time in high school during cheerleading practice. We were all tired and a little punchy. It was just my squad and we were waiting for something...I can't even remember now what we were doing, but an after school practice was involved. So, bored out of our minds, I roll up my little practice shorts so much that the cheeks were hanging out and so low that something else was about to hang out. I do that 80's twist thing with my t-shirt where it only covers my boobs. I throw my hair into a really high side ponytail and I grab the orange cones that were sitting in the gym leftover from the P.E. class. With cones on my boobs, I start performing "Like a Virgin" for my squad...who were all rolling on the floor! I mean, I had them going I was so funny (pats self on back)! Then, right in the middle of a particulary dramatic twirl, the HOT coach of the school walks in. There I am, standing in all my glory, about a foot from the hottest guy I had ever seen in real life. Smooth. Really smooth. Luckily he just laughed and walked right back out...but I'm sure he saw me turn beat red first!

Then, just a year and a half ago, there was the "incident" at my best friend's wedding. I was the maid of honor and she had picked out these dresses with spaghetti straps and a really, really low-cut front. It took a lot of altering on my mom's part because, let's face it, while well-endowed girls might be envied for their well-endowedness, there are many items of clothing they just cannot and should not wear. Spaghetti straps with very little boobie coverage = not good! So, since this was so low-cut, there was no way I could wear even a strapless bra under the thing. My mom took about 3 inches out of each piece of string they called a strap and 2 inces out of each side (apparently, the bigger the size you get to try to have coverage, the more fabric they add to the SIDE of the chest part...not the front...I'm sorry but nobody wants to see fat-girl cleavage!). I was practically sewn into that sucker! So, my friend goes to do the bouquet toss, and of course throws it right to me. As I reach up for it...POP! The straps of my dress come flying off! Thank goodness that bouquet landed in my hands when it did because if it was 2 seconds later, my dress would have been on the floor. No joke. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there for a couple of minutes, not moving. All the girls and my friend the bride come crowding around, luckily, and I just stood there repeating, "My straps! My straps! I can't move! What do I do?" Finally I knew that I was going to have to get to the bathroom and I couldn't just stand there on the dancefloor - in front of 200 people, mind you - motionless. So, I turned on my heel and booked it past all the guests and darted right into the bathroom...with about 10 girls trailing behind me. After I was finally pinned in as well as I could be pinned in, and had Jonathan's jacket on, I face the music and walk back into the reception...with a round of applause errupting. Nice.

So the lesson of that story is, if you have busty bridesmaids, please, PLEASE do them a favor and choose a dress with thick straps or a halter style! Strapless and spaghetti straps are HORRIBLE for girls like us and we will resent you for making us wear those types of dresses!

OK, I guess that's all for writing prompts today. I should focus my writing energy on my school stuff right now. But, see autobiography title #7.

Dear Yahoo:

I do realize that your email services are free. However, that doesn't mean that your service should suck on a regular basis. I am constantly having problems. Especially this week. I don't know what's going on in your part of the world, but in my most sincere voice: FIX THE EFFING PROBLEM!

I don't know why every time I try to clear out my spam folder you tell me that there was a problem with the delete button. You put the delete button there. Make it work! I personally don't want spam sitting in my email. Call me paranoid, but getting a virus on my work computer is not my idea of fun. Just delete the shit and we would all be happy.

Or, better yet, just be like Gmail and hide the spam folder so I don't see that I have 200+ spammy emails sitting there. OR...even better than that!...be like Gmail and don't allow so much spam! OR AGAIN! Gmail also doesn't have these HUGE animated ads all over my email that slows everything down because my workplace watches everything and if it even remotely looks like a video (God forbid!), then they must block it. See, Gmail just puts a simple text ad at the top. It takes no time to load and I didn't even realize it was there until after a few months of using my Gmail account.

Here's another thing, when I type up an email or reply to someone and I hit the send button...SEND IT! Don't tell me every.single.time that there was an error in communicating with the server or whatever your excuse is. I mean, it's your server, right? Don't you know where it is? Shouldn't you be able to communicate with it whenever?

Here's the funny thing about the send button problem. If I save my email as a draft, go to different website and then come back to Yahoo, I can send my draft without a problem. But why put a send button there in the first place if you want me to go through 3 other steps before I actually send my email? Why not just have a message that says, "If you want to actually send these witty and wonderful emails, you must first save it, go to another website and then come back to Yahoo to actually send the email. Yes, we could just put a send button on here in the first place, but that would be making the lives of our customers EASY. And we can't have that, now can we?"

Anyway, Yahoo, the point is, fix your buttons. You have them there for a reason and we kind of like to use them. And I've been a loyal Yahoo-er (Yahoo-ee?) for quite some time. The only reason I even started a Gmail account in the first place was for school. I could just dump all my school emails there without having to log out of my personal email and into another Yahoo email. But, if this problem persists, then I will just have to dump you forever.

Your attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated as I have a life to get to, which includes a lot of emailing. And I really don't want to wait anymore.

Yours truly,
Amie

P.S. If all your servers are located in Haiti, then I might understand the "communication errors." But not a single GOOGLE (yeah, that's right...I said GOOGLE) search turns up anything about Yahoo having servers in Haiti. So, no excuses, Yahoo.

Turkey Meatballs

The weekends kill me! I lose 5 pounds during the week, I gain right back on the weekends. No need to even explain...it's the usual...drinking, fast food, dinner with friends. But, I just got my syllabus for my next class and I'm going to be so busy I won't even have time to eat! So, maybe I can lose weight during this round of classes. :)

Jonathan and I went to the grocery store yesterday and attempted buying our healthy convenience foods. I got a craving for turkey meatballs and kind of made up a recipe as I went. As always, I don't measure...just eyeball everything:

1 pound ground lean turkey
1/4ish cup of bread crumbs
1 palmful of dried Italian herbs
3 squeezes of ketchup
1 large egg
3 cloves of garlic, minced
salt, pepper and red pepper flakes to taste
Olive oil
28 ounces of tomato sauce

Combine all the above ingredients except olive oil and tomato sauce in a large bowl. Mix with hands until distributed evenly throughout. Scoop out evenly-sized meatballs...I use a scooper that is about 1.5 ounces. Place meatballs on baking sheet or large glass cutting board. After meatballs are scooped, pour olive oil in pan (2-3 tablespoons) and heat over medium-high. Once oil is heated, place meatballs in pan and brown on all sides. About 5 minutes. Turn heat down to medium. If there is a lot of residual oil, remove meatballs and drain oil off. However, if using extra lean, white turkey, all the oil will probably be soaked up (it was for me). Add meatballs back in if removed and add all the tomato sauce. With a hard simmer to light boil, cover pan loosely with foil and cook for about 15 minutes. Serve with spaghetti noodles and enjoy!

It's yummy, easy and healthy. :)

Quick and Easy

Instead of starting on a new "diet" this year, I've decided to throw caution into the wind and do what I think I know I should do. That's the thing about all of these "diets"...they are for people who know nothing about nutrition, portion control and need something laid out for them in explicit terms. I grew up with a Home Ec. teacher for a mom and along the way she's taught me about food. She never really taught me how to cook, that is surprisingly one of the few natural talents I have. Yes, she has taught me some terms (because really, do we have to have a fancy term for everything?) and a couple of things along the way, but my cooking skills came purely out of experimenting and smelling. Smelling? Yes, I cook by smell. If it smells good together before it's cooked, it's gotta taste good, right? Usually that works.

Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked here. Point is, I know how to cook. And, get this, I am really good at cooking healthy! I rarely use salt unless it's absolutely necessary...and no, it doesn't mean my food is bland. People would be surprised how herbs and spices will actually do the trick in the flavor department and no extra salt is needed. I am pretty exclusive with my olive oil usage with the only exceptions ever being if the strong and distinctive flavor of the olive oil won't mix well with whatever it is I am cooking. Then I will use straight canola oil. Both of these are believed to be among the healthiest of the oils. I rarely use butter when I cook. The only time I use that is in cookies (which aren't healthy anyway) or in mac and cheese. Basically, I use butter in the unhealthy recipes because let's face it, if I'm going to splurge, then I am going go whole hog!

I also prefer fresh veggies as opposed to canned or frozen, but if I need a quick go-to, then it's always frozen first and then canned (rinsed well, of course). I know I need whole grains, fruits and veggies in any given day and I sure as heck know that fast food doesn't provide this. And, if they do, it's often at a cost. Which is stupid, if you ask me! Why does it have to cost $1.30 extra to sub a SMALL fruit cup for a large french fry? I know fruit is more expensive than potatoes and definitely more perishable, but seriously, have you seen those small fruit cups? There is absolutely no way that amount of fruit was really $1.30 more than the the potatoes and oil that went into the large fries.

Point is, if fast food joints would offer healthier options at the same cost, I would be happy. A grilled chicken sandwich (no mayo...not a big fan of the stuff anyway) and fruit cup (even a small one) at the same prices as the fried and greasy option would keep me going there throughout any health kick period.

But they don't. And I really need quick and easy. So, since I'm also on a big budget crunch as well as trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle, I've been doing the best I can do. And what do you know? Without really trying or being on any kind of "diet," I've lost 5 pounds in a couple of weeks! The last time I weighed myself, which I can't remember if it was last week or the week before, I was 134 with 18% body fat. This morning, 129 with 15% body fat! I finally broke out of the 130s!!! I can't believe it! It's been probably 2 years since I hit that 130 mark and I've stayed there fairly consistently. And I did this all by doing what I already know to do.

Here's what my past couple of weeks have looked like as far as eating goes:
Breakfast:
Coffee with creamer
1 cup (measured dry) plain, quick oats - prepared with water
Big handful (about 1/3 of a cup) of frozen rasberries, blueberries, blackberries
1 packet of Truvia

Here's where people will knock my breakfast: the creamer, 1 full cup of quick oatmeal and "artificial" sweetener. Here's how they are wrong: creamer has fat, yes, but you need fat to properly digest your food and the get the most nutrients out of it. That's why "experts" will tell you that if you are eating a meal with very little to no fat in it, start with a salad with OIL and vinegar. You need fat, not a lot, but you need it. Plus, the tinsy amount of creamer that I use doesn't have a ton of fat in there. Secondly, I know the label says that 1/2 cup of oats is a serving size. I tried 1/2 a cup. Not enough for me. Plus, you should eat most of your carbs in the morning anyway. Also, I know you should eat the super expensive, take forever to cook steel cut oats. Yeah, I work for a living and I leave for work at 6:30am. Not going to take the time to make 30 minute oatmeal. 3 minute oatmeal is fine and it's still healthier than most of the sugary cereals that get crammed down our youth's throats, right? And lastly, Truvia is actually natural. It's the best non-sugar sweetener out there, in my opinion. Not that I'm an expert, but I do know how to read a label and do research. I've also heard from countless nutritionists that they would rather you use a little bit of artificial sweetener than regular sugar if you are trying to lose weight. I don't even use the artificial stuff. The ingredients in Truvia are erythritol, which is a natural sweetener found in some fruits, rebiana, which is the sweetest part of the stevia plant (a real plant from South America that has been used for centuries for it's sweetening properties) and natural flavors. The natural flavors are probably the scariest part of all just because it is so vague. But, it's not all that bad...and for the record, neither is the artificial counterpart. However, I think Truvia's ingredients are still better than that of let's say, Sweet 'n Low...which is what my company offers. Americans get plenty of corn by-product in our diets that we really don't need much more. Dextrose, I'm talking to you!

Lunch:
Lean Cuisine or Kashi or Healthy Choice frozen meal with a handful of frozen mixed veggies thrown in

The argument: it's frozen! It's processed! It's high in sodium! My defense: it's quick! It's less processed than McDonald's (not to mention the added veggies)! I need sodium anyway because I run and I don't get any from breakfast and very little from dinner! So there! Plus, most of these meals are under 25% of your daily recommended intake. Never do I go over 25%.

Snack:
Either a handful of unsalted mixed nuts
OR
2 Wasa crackers with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter (only PB that is made of peanuts, peanut oil and salt) and a touch of honey
And on running days, I also have Luna bar as I leave work.

Not sure what could be argued here...maybe, "I thought you said lunch was your only sodium intake?" I didn't say lunch was my only sodium intake, I just said it was the majority of my sodium intake. Also, all 3 of the above combined? About 12%. But I never eat all 3 in one day. And again, I actually need sodium.

Dinner:
Baked chicken breast
Jasmine rice
Veggies

The argument: white rice! White rice! BAAAAAD! My defense: not really. Yes, brown rice would be better, but I like the flavor of white...specifically Jasmine...and I do need carbs after my runs. So, it's not that bad. Plus, this is most frequently used rice in Asian countries and they eat it almost every meal. They tend to be skinny and live longer, so surely white rice isn't that horrible, now is it?

Yes, I do have cheat meals still. Last night we had pizza rolls. Basically, I use reduced fat crescent rolls, a little bit of sauce and little bit of cheese (seriously, not a lot at all...won't fit). We happened to have fresh buffalo mozzarella and now I am hooked on the stuff. The crescent rolls are the worst part and yes, I have 4 pizza rolls and Jonathan has the other 4. But come on...everyone is allowed a cheat day! And it's still about a 500 calorie dinner.

My other non-nutritionally balanced dinners consist of homemade pizza (I like lots of sauce, very little cheese and veggies if available) and spaghetti. We are very Italian at home, apparently. But, any cheat meal I have, I make sure to eat very slowly and stop when I first feel not hungry. No, I don't say stop when I feel full, because in my head, that means bloated and stuffed. So, I have to ask myself if that hunger edge has been taken away. Basically, I don't eat the whole dang meal!

Anyway, that's my quick and easy "diet" if anyone wants to try it. I'm going to the grocery store this weekend to stock up on other healthier snacks. I need more veggies in my diet, I know. It's just a pain in the butt to prepare them when the majority of your meals are at work. I'll let you know how this one goes. Maybe this time, I can actually stick to it!

Completely Overwhelmed

The past couple of weeks I have been having mild anxiety attacks. Maybe they are panic attacks. What's the difference anyway? I think panic attacks are sudden and short-lived and anxiety attacks build up over time. I guess I am having anxiety attacks. I've been worried about a lot lately but I get these sudden spurts where I feel like the world is about to come crashing down on my head. I'm actually having one now and decided that I need to get it out.

I think the main reason I am freaking out lately is because my bank account is almost $15,000 lower this year than it was last year. There, I said it. Out loud. Or in type, rather. I had a ton of unexpected, large expenses and a couple of fun expenses that were still large, but at least they were fun! The crown after my root canal, my dog getting sick and then being put down, plumbing explosions (ok, leaks, whatever), allergy shots, paying a butt-load of tuition, needing new tires...all of that wasn't fun. There were several more not fun parts of 2009, but they weren't nearly as expensive as the ones I just mentioned. Then we got new floors and went to New York. Those parts were fun...and sometimes not...but dang if they weren't expensive!

So, that explains about 60% of my anxiety. Yes, only 60%. I thought it would be more than that seeing as how I always freak out about not having enough money in savings, but it is what it is right now and plenty of people have reminded me that all that above stuff that happened is the EXACT reason why you should have a savings account in the first place! Not that it really helps, but I just have to think back to when I was first starting off in this crazy, "real" world and I barely had two nickels to rub together! I managed to lively frugally then, so I need to manage to live frugally now.

Oh yeah, back to the other 40%. I just feel so disorganized lately. My house is a disaster, I can't concentrate at work, school is about to start again and I'm getting married. Yesterday, I realized that every time someone asks me how the wedding planning is going or if my mom calls me with some more wedding stuff, it annoys me. And it's not that these people are annoying me at all...it's that I feel so unorganized and so overwhelmed with everything right now that I don't want to talk about it. Anyone who has ever known me for any length of time can tell you that I am the worst procrastinator. And I mean the WORST! I will put off writing a paper until the night before it's due. Time and time again. But, with the wedding, I know I can't procrastinate so I am starting to feel overwhelmed by it all. And it's making me shut down.

So, resolution #4 for 2010 is to get my life cleaned up, organized and on track!

You see how I made that bold, italicized AND red? That means that if I don't stick to 1 through 3, then this HAS to be the one I accomplish!

Luckily this is a 4-day weekend for me and even though my Friday and Saturday are already gone due to prior commitments, I will be spending every waking minute I am at home cleaning my house up. I'm getting Jonathan started on the garage today (DID YOU HEAR ME, JONATHAN?!?!?! TODAY!!!) to go through all of his boxes that he still has in there from moving in. Yes, for almost 3 years now we have had so much crap in the garage that needs to be thrown away. So, since today and Sunday are supposed to be sunny around here, those days are dedicated to garage and backyard clean-up! Friday night and Monday are dedicated to picking up the house, deciding what stays and what goes and organizing the stuff that stays.

I'm damn determined to become a clean-freak. I won't make that a resolution, though, because I've been damn determined in the past about it...and, well, you see where we are today.

This has got to happen for me. Why? Because I don't believe in medicating a problem when you know exactly how to fix it. And fix it, I will.

One of THOSE Days

Do you ever have one of those days? You just feel beat down and not sure why? It's one of those kinds of days for me today. I mean, I know WHY it's one of those days, but that shouldn't be a reason, should it? You females out there know what I'm talking about. Hormones raging. Completely crampy. Bloated. Bloated. Bloated. Angry for no reason but all you want it is a hug. Yeah. One of THOSE days.

I feel bad for Jonathan, too, when these days come along. He can't do anything right in my eyes and I come home often ranting and raving about how he doesn't do jack shit around the house. Then he smiles, walks up to me, gives me this biggest hug in the world and rubs my back. He knows that helps. And I swear it makes him the bravest man in the world! Because although I love that hug and back rub, it doesn't make it any better. I still go off the deep end and lecture him on the proper way of putting up whatever it is that he has put up wrong. But he sees that smile behind the rant. Because he knows that while that hug didn't make things in general any better in my mind, it showed me that he understands. Even though he sooooo doesn't.

But that was last night and today is today. He's not here to hug me. I feel like the world is one big idiot today and I don't want to deal with it. I was fine when I woke up. Tired, but fine. However, despite all this fineness that I felt this morning, there was this thought in the back of my head that today wasn't going to be a great day. It's going to be a day where by 4pm I just want to crawl under the covers and go to sleep for many hours.

I won't get into work because that can always lead to being DOOCED. And we don't want or need that. But just know that it's annoying.

Then there's the fact that I just don't feel well. And there's nothing that can help that...just time. I'll probably feel better by tomorrow. I always do.

The next thing is that I start my new running class tonight. I decided to really push myself and moved up to the next class. The 201 class. Problem is, I didn't run for 2 weeks and then when I realized that I should go run before our "magic mile" that was last Tuesday, I discovered a pain in my knee. Turns out it was my IT band so I got the appropriate equipment (thank you $20 strap!) and it seemed fine last Tuesday. But we only had to run 1 mile and the pain always started after the first mile. Class on Thursday was subsequently canceled due to an arctic blast that rolled through Dallas. I should have gone to the gym and run on the treadmill. I didn't. I also didn't run on Friday or Sunday like I should have. I claimed that I was resting my IT band as that is the best course of action. In reality, I was being lazy. So, I have a bad feeling about how tonight is going to go.

Then my professor posted our stuff for my Global Business class today. And it's a mess. Completely disorganized and she has things due way after class should end...and when I'm in Egypt. And yes, Egypt is a class and the way the university has it set up, classes should not overlap. We take 3 classes/semester, but only one at a time for 6 weeks. My lovely Norwegian professor has our class starting next week and going until March 20. Which is 7 days into my study tour. Nice. I've already sent an email to her pointing out that she has her class scheduled longer than what it should be and I have the eMBA coordinator copied on that email. I'm sure they will say it's fine and to suck it up, but there's been problems with this class and another professor. As far as I can tell, the professor I have is just using this other professor's stuff and it doesn't make sense. I had 3 friends take the other professor and all 3 of them wrote 5 page letters about why the guy should be fired. They know that pretty much their entire class wrote letters as well. He was moved to the Houston campus for now.

So, Mike Leach is fired before due process yet this guy has a job after every.single.student of his has written letters about how bad of a professor he is? Yeah, not fair if you ask me.

Anyway, that's all there is today. Just a blog to rant about having one of THOSE days. And it's only halfway done. Blech.

And here goes #3...(it's a sappy one!)

This morning as I was putting on my jacket, I saw a photo of my grandparents and me (yes, that is proper grammar, Jonathan!) from 2002. I see the photo every day as it is sitting on the green shelves that I acquired from them last year, but today, it made me pause a couple of extra seconds to study it. The photo was taken at their 50th wedding anniversary and we were throwing them a surprise party. I even flew into Dallas on the first anniversary of September 11th for them! I was scared so it was a big deal to me.

The look on Gramma's face in this picture is priceless. It's a look of utter and pure joy. And what made her so incredibly happy? The fact that 3 of her daughters (and their husbands) and 3 of her granddaughters took the time to make this day so very special to her. She was so happy to just be with family on her wedding anniversary. In every picture we have of her from that night, she is beaming from ear to ear...and I love her for that priceless look of joy.

Right now, Gramma has Stage 6 Alzheimer's and is quickly heading to the final stage. It's a horrible disease and we are the unfortunate bystanders that have to witness her lose all the personality and spunk that made her who she was when I was growing up. My mom started a blog a year ago and dedicated the first several months to her "book," Ellyland. Feel free to read through her blog, which chronicles our family's journey through the different stages of Alzheimer's with my grandma.

I have not handled this very well as I was very close to Gramma. In fact, this is the first time I have really been able to talk about it at length without completely losing it. But, I am still tearing up. It's hard. I was my grandma's first grandchild and we both lived in DFW (well, mostly...they moved a couple of times) when I was growing up. I can remember countless nights spent at her house with her doing every single thing I ever wanted to do. She spoiled me rotten.

However, the real reason I mention all of this is because I have decided that my third resolution is to truly appreciate my family for who they are...flaws and all! Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate my family and always have. My parents are awesome and I think they raised me to be a pretty great person. I love all the members of my family (even the ones who refuse to be part of it) and there's not much I wouldn't do to make them happy. I'm a pleaser like, despite my constant need for independence.

But, and I'm sure we've all been there, sometimes I would just rather do something else besides hang out with my parents...or put myself through the (self-imposed) emotional ringer by visiting my grandparents...or whatever else it might be. I love going to dinner with my girlfriends and I love hanging out in my pajamas with Jonathan and there's times when that sounds more appealing to me than doing "family stuff."

But if the past few years have taught me anything, it's that family will be there for you whenever you need them to be. And, and they won't be there forever. Family members will die before you do and then you are left without them for the rest of your days. Each family member can offer you something that nobody else can and when they are gone, that gift that they hold is gone. Parents are there as only parents can be. Cousins are there for the emotional rollercoaster that is growing up (in essence, they are the ones you learn about life with). Aunts and uncles can provide you with that advice that you don't want from your parents...but need from an adult. Everyone can give you the funniest stories of your life. Trust me, my family has a lot!

And we all need that. Especially me. So, I am not going to just appreciate my family because I have to, not because it's expected of me, but because I want to. We are weird bunch (every single one of us will admit that) and there are things in life we don't agree on (politics, religion, etc.), but I kinda like it the way it is. My family is the perfect family for me.

Resolution #2

So, I'm doing my resolutions in a series of posts this year instead of just some arbitrary list that we all know I won't stick to (see last year's list...how many of those did I accomplish? Just the first one...). I want them to be well thought out and not just a "here's a list of shit I should do and I'll do it once just to check it off" kind of thing. I'm always trying to improve my quality of life and live by what I say I am going to live by. I say that, anyway. :)

So, the second resolution this year is one way that I am attempting the blanket resolution of losing weight. For this season of The Biggest Loser, we are not going to eat junk food while we watch the show! I don't know what it is, and I know we aren't the only ones that do it, but there is something about that show that drives your primal instinct to PIG THE EFF OUT while watching morbidly obese people change their lives and their health for the better. Why do we do it? Well, let's see (yes I have excuses):

1.) The show comes on Tuesday nights. I have my running class on Tuesday nights. Therefore, I'm already one step ahead.

2.) The show comes on Tuesday nights. I have running class on Tuesday nights. Therefore, I don't get home until 8:30pm at the earliest and that is too late to actually cook something.

3.) OK, we know the first two sentences here. Jack in the Box is right next door to where my running class is, therefore, it's just easier to pick something up.

4.) Wendy's and Chick-fil-A are also on my way home. Do we see where this is going?

None of these are good excuses. Well, the first one kind of is, but eating junk food after I run just un-does (is that a word?) everything that I was able to accomplish in class. The problem is, I have seen Jonathan screw up cooking so many times (he calls "experimenting") that I don't trust him to make dinner "just the way I like it." My mom will tell you, if you don't do something "just the way I like it," then it's not worth doing. I'll just do it myself!

But, I need to give up control over something and let him cook at least one night per week. We have enough frozen chicken, frozen veggies and rice in the house that he can reasonably throw that together quickly. And last night, I let him do just that. He made us marinated chicken and rice. And it was good. Yes, I did complain about the lack of veggies, but that was my fault. He's so used to me telling him exactly what to make and what time to do everything at, that he didn't even dare think to make something I didn't mention. And I forgot to mention making veggies.

Here's the funny thing, I think Jonathan is awesome at cooking vegetables! Weird, right? He can make some great roasted asparagus. He watches Food Network all the time and a lot of it has absorbed into his brain. So, he can cook. It's just that sometimes, he doesn't think that following the recipe in the exact order (some recipes are in a certain order for a reason...it's the one thing that I will actually follow the "rules" on), or the same measurements/ratios is necessary. He also doesn't think that if you throw something with a lot of peppers in it (think spicy sausage) into a screaming hot pan, that the peppers scorching won't burn your face, nose, throat, eyes, etc. while it's cooking. That one gave me a good laugh. There are times when he thinks excess is great and in reality, the chicken just won't cook with all the extra crap in there.

I've taught him that these things aren't always the best qualities in a "chef." And, I think it's time that he is allowed back in the kitchen. At least if I let him back in there, we won't eat junk during The Biggest Loser, now will we?

100th Post!!

I had remembered a funny story and decided to share my thoughts on it, but when I logged in this morning, I saw that this will be my 100th post! So, first off, woo hoo to that!

Anyway, I don't know why some random memories pop in my head at the most random times, but they do. This morning as I was making my breakfast, I remembered this conversation with an older gentleman in a sauna at the gym from about a year and a half ago:

(Somehow the conversation in the sauna, with all 10 of us, had turned to modern day courtships.)

Random Guy (RG): Let me ask you this, I bet the place where you live is in your name, huh?

Me: Well, yes. Who's name would it be in?

RG: It should be in the name of whomever you are dating at the time.

Me: And why is that?

RG: Because these punks nowadays don't know how to treat a woman. As a man, you should be paying for everything...and I mean EVERYTHING!

Me: Well, that's stupid, if you ask me. A woman needs to be able to stand on her own two feet and not just go from her parents house to the sorority house to a man's house. It's a different world now and women need to be able to take care of things themselves instead of depending on others.

RG: Tell me this, WHY are you paying for your own place to live if you have a boyfriend?

Me: Because I bought my house before we met. Therefore, the mortgage is in my name.

RG: Well, he should know to buy it from you or buy you a new house to live in because that's just how things go.

Me: Tell me this, is your girlfriend a 25 year old perpetual student who acts more like your daughter and a spoiled little brat than a strong, successful, indepedent woman who actually loves you for you?

RG: Yeah, so? What's wrong with that? At least she depends on me and needs me, therefore won't leave me.

And then I left. This is a real conversation that I had with a total stranger! It always shocks me when people try to tell other people how to live their lives and love to scream, "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!" when obviously, this guy is doing it so right.

Maybe I'm a feminist. But I was personally raised to be as independent as possible. I was taught to live my life on my own terms and do what was right for me, not for someone else and definitely not for the perception of something else. I bought my first house, on my own, when I was 24 years old and making less than the lowest end of what the average first year teacher pay in Texas is currently at. Hell, I moved out of my parents house one month after I got my first job despite the fact that I thought I was going to stay there a few months longer so I could save up more money. I was making $30,000/year (I know, big no no here...not supposed to talk about salary) and I argued with my dad that I could make it on my own...despite the small salary. The main reason was, I had learned in college that I loved living on my own. It made me feel like an adult. I was an adult, after all, and should be able to get calls whenever I wanted without worrying that I would be waking up my parents. I should be able to leave at 11pm to go out with my friends without waking up my mom to explain that I was leaving for the night. It was just easier. I was making my own money so I should be able to do what I wanted with it. So, I moved out and on my own.

And it was hard. My mom still donated groceries every once in a while and I even took up cleaning her house (I hate cleaning!) to help pay the bills every month. My dad was right...it's hard living on your own when the digits in your salary are small! But here's the thing. I did it. I made it work and I am more than proud of myself for doing it without any man to depend on.

That's why this guy made me so mad at the time (although, I think it's funny now). He doesn't know what my views are or what I went through to get where I am. I was still able to pay my bills and live life fairly comfortably. I was completely independent. Of course, Jonathan was already living with me by this time and helping out on his end. But all that did was help me to build up my savings account and actually get to buy fun stuff! Of course, had I known then that my savings account would be bleeding out in 2009, there would have been a lot less fun stuff that I bought! But, that's all in hindsight. The fact of the matter is, this guy had the nerve to tell me how to live my life. Also, I had the greatest cardio workout after that since I had my adrenaline pumping.

So, that helped me to renew a vow that I gave to myself a couple of years ago: other people's lives are other people's lives. Let them live it. You don't have to "help" because oftentimes, they don't want it. You don't know what it took for them to get where they are and they could be beaming with pride with what they have accomplished or beyond ashamed about what they have done wrong. Either way, it's not up to you to drag them down and tell them, "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!" They know what's best for them and you know what's best for you.

Remembering this story has also helped me with one of my 2010 resolutions. My life is my life and no matter what anyone says, I'm doing it right. And in 2010, I'm going to keep on doing what's right for me and not let other's opinions affect the way I live my life. Conversely, I'm not going to worry or judge or have any opinion on how other's are living their life...good, bad, or indifferent. It's their life and if they want my honest opinion, they will ask.