So Sad

So, we might have to put Belle down. Everything is pretty much a crap shoot right now. The vet said she is in very serious condition. Basically, her white blood cells and red blood cells are wiped out, therefore she is severely anemic, running a fever, has an infection, etc. She has been extremely lethargic (doesn't even care about squirrels lately!) and hasn't been eating very much the past couple of weeks. Some days she won't eat a single bite. The vet said it could either be a tick disease or auto-immune. If the tick bacteria shows up in her bloodwork, that's a good thing (from what I can figure out). They gave her heavy doses of prednisone and antibiotics. If it is a tick thing, the antibiotics will kill the bacteria from the tick and the prednisone will build her blood count back up. If she starts perking up and feeling better within a couple of days, that's a good sign that it's working and everything will be ok. If not, they need to do further testing. He said sometimes it can be cancer but the x-rays they did today did not show any tumors. But there was something on her lungs. He called it something, I can't remember, but it sounded like bronchitis. Which makes sense because she has been coughing a lot the past couple of weeks. The other thing it could be, if it's not ticks or cancer, is that her immune system is just attacking her blood cells. He said this happens sometimes and from what I have read online, this happens most often in collies and spaniels. It's called Hemolytic Anemia. Either way, cancer or Hemolytic Anemia, she will probably be put down. I just don't have the money to support the treatment if there's not a guarantee of it working. Also, I don't know if I could handle it. I would be constantly stressed and worried that she is in pain and doesn't feel well. Which would make me feel so guilty.

I'm (obviously) really upset right now. I am mad at myself because I started noticing some of these symptoms a while ago and just chalked it up to her getting older. I should have taken her to the vet then. The symptoms just didn't seem that bad. Up until about two weeks ago, she still went nutso over lizards (her new obsession) and her cough was just every once in a while when she got too exerted. I thought that was just because she was fat. I could just kick myself.

My pretty girl: